What does “being” mean?

I’m asked this question so often. Admittedly, it’s a little strange to talk about “how we are being.”

In the coaching I do, I focus on how someone is showing up in their lives and work. We look at “what is so.” So often we don’t look at what is so in our lives. We wear our rose coloured glasses like this cute little guy from KC Green’s famous comic:

This is Fine Dog - KC Green - Being Can Mean Not Being Fine

Or we catastrophize and make the goings on seem worse than they really are. Who can relate to this?

Catastrophe list - opposite of what being means

In between the rose coloured glasses and the way we make things worse for ourselves is what is so. We need to be with what is so in order to act with integrity.

How we see things, how we miss what is so is affected by our being, but how we act is also affected by our being. We often act out of Fear, which feeds our rapid reactions. We also act out of Survival, which are the regular actions we take to prevent us from acting out of Fear. And we can also can also act on our Feelings, which are often rooted in the desire to feel good.

Fear, Survival, and Feelings are ways of being that skew our actions and prevent us from acting on what is so. We cannot act from our true selves, we cannot act with integrity, if we have these qualities in the way. This is what we mean when we ask “What does being mean?”

Coaching to Essence

In my coaching, the root to acting with integrity is Essence. If you would like to learn about your Essence and how you can show up without Fear, Survival, and Feelings, we can achieve this in as little as one session. You can book that complementary session today.


For more on ontological coaching, Accomplishment Coaching has an FAQ.